*HTML is OFF *UBB Code is ON Smilies Legend
Smilies Legend
If you have previously registered, but forgotten your password, click here.
T O P I C R E V I E Wm.bladehonestly, recently I think i've been struck by reality. I think I'm starting to get a little taster of what I might expect later on in life.I recently found out that someone who I considered a friend really used me and when I thought about his actions generally, it added up.i feel like an absolute fool. i feel naive, stupid and like i am weak to what life is really like. Now I am fearing all of my friendship. I fear that all of my friends really are deceiving me.I am having trouble structuring this. how do I tell if a friend is real? of course to be secure with others you must be secure with yourself and know yourself but at the moment I don't and I am so confused as to how to deal with this?If any of you can offer advice, i am forever gratefulPixieJaneGenerally speaking, if they're there for you when you need them then they're true. Of course they can't be perfect but it should be a surprise if they don't and/or with an understandable reason given. But if they're constantly taking without giving back then that's a good sign you're being used. Also be aware of taking advantage of the sitch, for example having someone house sit for you while you're on a long road trip who uses it to hold a party at your expense. One of the most outrageous stories I heard of was someone who paid her "friends" in advance to help her move and they instantly took it to get drunk, thus failing to do the job...those aren't real friends.However, this doesn't help with emotional vampires who will leech off you as much as you'll allow it, though such people will generally try to guilt you to an absurd level about how you're destroying them if you try to reclaim your space, or constantly claim disabilities that don't fit (for example one tried to get me to give up my computer time at a library to help her find images of popular actors--I showed her how to do it but she refused to learn and wanted me to keep doing it for her--and then claimed she was in a wheelchair despite that this did nothing to prevent her from using a computer). In addition they'll be all too happy to do things for you...and then use that as a key to make unreasonable demands on you all the time. Of course you should give as you take but these people will make you not want to ask in the first place (for reason other than pride). Another sign of this type is that they have almost no one besides family who will put up with them as they go through people draining them until their victims escape and they need to find someone else (like you) to latch onto next.Also beware of frenemies, though outside the office I don't think people with self-respect will have too many of these...yet plenty of good people turn to crap when mixed with alcohol so it's best to not go to bars with them when they turn from friend into frenemy. EllynlvxTime will tell.Ami AnneIt is hard, Mblade dear ------------------Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/Tulipe quote:Originally posted by m.blade:honestly, recently I think i've been struck by reality. I think I'm starting to get a little taster of what I might expect later on in life.I recently found out that someone who I considered a friend really used me and when I thought about his actions generally, it added up.i feel like an absolute fool. i feel naive, stupid and like i am weak to what life is really like. Now I am fearing all of my friendship. I fear that all of my friends really are deceiving me.I am having trouble structuring this. how do I tell if a friend is real? of course to be secure with others you must be secure with yourself and know yourself but at the moment I don't and I am so confused as to how to deal with this?If any of you can offer advice, i am forever gratefulHi m.blade,Being naive, to me, is not bad, it just means you're more willing to trust than most people, and that takes courage. You feel hurt now, and it's natural to curl up, to shut everyone else out and be suspicious. You need time to sort this out, go ahead and be angry, let all the emotions that this person made you feel out. But then find your willingness to trust again, don't go judging other friends on things that they haven't done. As for a true friend, just like Ellyn said, only when time has passed that you'd know. Friendship starts with compatibility but it needs sharing, giving, compassion, honesty and responsibility to survive. I say this as a friend, don't be discouraged. The bad experiences will make you appreciate your true friends more. It's just my 2 cents, hope you'll feel better.------------------what goes up must come down, so when you're feeling down, the only way to be is upm.bladeThank you everyone I am taking this as an opportunity to mature and learn to handle such situations better. mirage29m.blade...
I recently found out that someone who I considered a friend really used me and when I thought about his actions generally, it added up.
i feel like an absolute fool. i feel naive, stupid and like i am weak to what life is really like. Now I am fearing all of my friendship. I fear that all of my friends really are deceiving me.
I am having trouble structuring this. how do I tell if a friend is real? of course to be secure with others you must be secure with yourself and know yourself but at the moment I don't and I am so confused as to how to deal with this?
If any of you can offer advice, i am forever grateful
However, this doesn't help with emotional vampires who will leech off you as much as you'll allow it, though such people will generally try to guilt you to an absurd level about how you're destroying them if you try to reclaim your space, or constantly claim disabilities that don't fit (for example one tried to get me to give up my computer time at a library to help her find images of popular actors--I showed her how to do it but she refused to learn and wanted me to keep doing it for her--and then claimed she was in a wheelchair despite that this did nothing to prevent her from using a computer). In addition they'll be all too happy to do things for you...and then use that as a key to make unreasonable demands on you all the time. Of course you should give as you take but these people will make you not want to ask in the first place (for reason other than pride). Another sign of this type is that they have almost no one besides family who will put up with them as they go through people draining them until their victims escape and they need to find someone else (like you) to latch onto next.
Also beware of frenemies, though outside the office I don't think people with self-respect will have too many of these...yet plenty of good people turn to crap when mixed with alcohol so it's best to not go to bars with them when they turn from friend into frenemy.
------------------Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
quote:Originally posted by m.blade:honestly, recently I think i've been struck by reality. I think I'm starting to get a little taster of what I might expect later on in life.I recently found out that someone who I considered a friend really used me and when I thought about his actions generally, it added up.i feel like an absolute fool. i feel naive, stupid and like i am weak to what life is really like. Now I am fearing all of my friendship. I fear that all of my friends really are deceiving me.I am having trouble structuring this. how do I tell if a friend is real? of course to be secure with others you must be secure with yourself and know yourself but at the moment I don't and I am so confused as to how to deal with this?If any of you can offer advice, i am forever grateful
Hi m.blade,Being naive, to me, is not bad, it just means you're more willing to trust than most people, and that takes courage. You feel hurt now, and it's natural to curl up, to shut everyone else out and be suspicious. You need time to sort this out, go ahead and be angry, let all the emotions that this person made you feel out. But then find your willingness to trust again, don't go judging other friends on things that they haven't done. As for a true friend, just like Ellyn said, only when time has passed that you'd know. Friendship starts with compatibility but it needs sharing, giving, compassion, honesty and responsibility to survive. I say this as a friend, don't be discouraged. The bad experiences will make you appreciate your true friends more. It's just my 2 cents, hope you'll feel better.
------------------what goes up must come down, so when you're feeling down, the only way to be is up
I am taking this as an opportunity to mature and learn to handle such situations better.
Copyright 2000-2023 Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000 Ultimate Bulletin Board Version 5.46a
Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000 Ultimate Bulletin Board Version 5.46a